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Luxury Movie Theaters: You’ll Get Addicted

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The latest upscale movie palace to hit the area – AMC DINE-IN Shops at Riverside 9 – is now open, and it will ruin the experience of seeing movies anywhere else, including your own living room.

Your living room probably doesn’t have seats as comfortable as those in the theater.  If it does, it doesn’t have people other than those who share your last name to keep them clean.  You may very well be able to make food and drinks on par with the fare in the theater, but you’ll be the one making and serving them – to yourself, and others – after you shop for them… after which you’ll be the one cleaning up.

This is why my wife and I spent well over $100 to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  Not at that AMC, obviously, but at a luxo-joint very much like it.  And we did it again when Rogue One came out.  In fact, I can’t think of a first-run film since Star Wars that we haven’t seen in a place with power-reclining leather seats and food and drink service.  I’m pretty sure there was at least one time we’ve “downgraded”, but all I can remember about that occasion is spending most of the time thinking things like “Why the heck do I have to wonder which armrest to use?”, and “Why do I have to look at other people, people who are not on the screen?”  These kinds of thoughts didn’t make me feel good about myself….. and yet…..

It’s worth feeling like that to never have to stand on lines (That picture there at the top of the lines for the original Star Wars at the Route 4 theater in ’77 brings back fond memories, but do you really want to repeat them?  Even with a smartphone in your hand?).  And it’s so comfortable.  And the service is so speedy.  And the chairs are so massive that you can’t see the glow from the jerks who are checking their phones during the movie.  And it’s SO expensive that people generally don’t bring their kids…..  Judge me all you want, but if you do I’ll judge you right back.

It’s an excellent date night, and it’ll remind you of many a first date: You’ll go into it knowing you’re gonna overdo it, and you won’t wanna look at your bank statement for several days afterwards.

(Photos: AMC)


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